A Testimony of Redemption

One of my redemption stories, I have so many!

I guess one of my first redemption stories is that in the middle of my mess, the Lord sent this man along my path who pursued me relentlessly, for 2 months, he pursued me until we started dating and, after a while, it became evident we were made to be together! The Lord used this journey to bring us both back to Him in the most spectacular way.

When we first started dating, we fought like cat and dog, we were constantly bickering, and it was actually a problem, and caused a lot of friction between us and we nearly gave up on each other and the beautiful destiny the Lord had for us. We had much to learn about compromise, when to let the other have their way and not to hold grudges or let the sun go down on your anger. These were important keys to us overcoming the constant confrontation.

The biggest revelation came to me one day when the Lord, in His infinite wisdom somehow (I think through a radio program) told me that my hubby was just a man… go figure… who would have thought it! But, no, really! God showed me that I was always expecting perfection from my hubby. Because my hubby was so amazingly good to me and I had found a massive percentage of my security in my hubby, I had come to expect it. I had placed unrealistic expectations of perfection on my hubby and wanted him to love me perfectly, never make a mistake, never forget anything, always have perfect and beautiful things to say to me and generally love me perfectly, after all he is close to it (nudge, nudge, wink, wink… scoring points with hubby!!!).

Well, the Lord showed me that He is the only perfect one. He is the only one from who I should be seeking perfect love that casts out all fear, because He can give it to me. He is the only One from whom I should be seeking my fulfillment, when I am full of Him, I will need no other, when I am full of Him, I will need no more perfection from any other imperfect person, when I allow Him to saturate me and meet my every need I will take my eyes off my hubby and place them squarely where they need to be. Allowing my hubby the freedom to be the man he was created to be. He’s now living free of me making a perfection trap for him to fall into even before he’s woken up every day. I still struggle, but I’m trying, not to expect too much!

We, as wives, and especially wives who’ve had the privilege of being married longer, need to be spending that ever-important time with Our Heavenly Father, in order to role model how it looks when we accept the most precious person in our lives, whether they hit the nail on the head or missed totally. All wives, moms, daughters, daughters-in-law, we should pray for each other, our husbands, mothers, fathers and all of our family relations. As this picture perfect life of FB, Instagram, Twitter and whatever other (steal your life through time on a screen) media we can come up with next, becomes more and more prevalent and starts to dictate our lives, expectations and aspirations, we need to stay firmly placed in the arms of our Heavenly Father, deeply rooted in all He has for us. Allow Him to set our sights, allow Him to dictate and write your narrative. The world is and always will be broken, take your cue’s from the Master who not only wrote the manual but designed your every fiber, keep close, stay low on your knees and know He has your all in all, He designed you for the very purpose that is the heartbeat of your life.

Why do we need to live with expectation on Him, loving unconditionally and praying for and modelling it for the next generations of moms and daughters. There are probably a million reasons we can think of, but, for now let’s think of these. If not us then who, what if loving your spouse died out with our generation or our parents, the world will have won. The only way to combat the destruction and devastation of the enemy and what he wants the world to be and do, is through the construction and intentional work of the basis God gave us for functioning and thriving in life – the family. God’s perfect design for each individual human being is to know and be known in and through the beauty of community, which, fundamentally starts at home.

In short,

Time with God = freedom to love others freely without expecting them to fulfill your every need.
Keep our eyes on Him alone, no one is perfect – keep that for Social Media (time thief).
Love on and pray for hubbies and wives everywhere!
Model for younger women, especially our daughters (conviction for me!!) how to love the men in your life.
Why love unconditionally, why spend time with and keep our eyes on Him, why love on our hubbies and model for the new generation? We want God’s legacy of strength in family bonds as the picture of heavenly perfection through that, to be carried over from generation to generation, by our intentionality of living life in love with Jesus first, and working out that love in action in our daily lives.

God is good is all I can say! Only by His grace I am still alive, let alone having lived to be married to the most marvelous man who makes me feel safe in life with him, but most importantly, always reminds me of how I’m safe in the Father’s arms. Then to live the experience of my beautiful children. It’s a tremendous privilege.

24th Feb 201916th Mar 2020

Forgiveness Part (2)

14th Wedding Anniversary!

So this year, with the testimony and privilege of celebrating my 14th wedding anniversary, I can safely say that I’ve been on the track of wholeheartedly serving the Lord for approximately 15years now. This having been said, I heard the Lord say to me this morning that I’ve been so broken and full of hurt, pain and unforgiveness that I was not even aware of, that I have been incapable of fully receiving His Love.

This statement completely flawed me, as I have on many occassions been slain in the absolute Love of our generous Father, but with the Lord showing me through 3 different friends and relatives that I have unforgiveness that needs to be dealt with, I spent time with Him on this issue, fasting and praying and He has been at work again!

The way I fast and pray, which works for me(after a bit of trial and error, over a few years) this is not strictly following a certain biblical way of fasting, but I feel more a relational way…

My 5 steps to fasting relationally…

I ask the Lord what to fast about, in this instance, the fasting topic was brought to my attention first, most of the time my fasting has been as a response to what the Lord has shown me needs attention. There are other times I fast, for instance, on a weekly basis for my family which is a certain day and time weekly, when I ask the Lord what to fast about this week and He responds to me and tells me the topic of this week’s fast for that set time.
Once I know the topic, I ask the Lord how long to fast for? Is it a day, an hour, a week, but the Lord is gracious and generous. I used to be able to do 30day fasts when you only eat something small in the evening after sunset etc, but, now that I have a whole family to look after I can’t seem to manage those fasts and be a blessing to my family, while not eating… go figure!
I ask the Lord what to fast, or what type of fast to have? Certain things in my menu have been important to me at certain times of my life. At this stage of my life I’ve given up my evening cuppa along with meat for 3weeks… this takes it’s toll, not really recommended unless you see your doc first especially for ladies! When I was younger T.V. played a major role of 2 or so hours in my life and I would give that up to fast and pray at that time.
I don’t know if it’s considered theologically correct, or not, but, then I start to pray, just in tongues, ask God to open my eyes to see what He sees in the situation and what to pray for and how. Then I continue my days as usual, I fast at the times I would have had the coffee or meat I say to the Lord, ‘Lord, God, I am fasting and giving this up to you and praying as we discussed , please would You release this to me or free this one from that or whatever the request is.
As with all things the Lord is faithful in all He does! He reveals and answers the prayers as we ask Him and trust Him. There are times, as with this time of fasting for unforgiveness for me, that it is necessary to ask someone in a position of leadership, revelation or having experience in the same area to pray with you through, for, or into breakthrough for that issue. Trust the Lord to show you the right person for that, don’t just take the first person that comes to mind, you could get hurt, wait on Him.

Then anytime you’re alone get into the Presence of God, housework is my most dangerous time. I spend hours worshipping, crying, singing, dancing and breakthrough comes in the most magnificent manner…

All Glory to God as He does His infamous open-heart surgery without even needing to delve into the details, He works, He removes, He re-inserts His Love, His beliefs of how He sees us, made us and what He has for us; His paradigms for us to be whole, as He intended us to be, healed and returned to Him to accomplish His dreams He placed within us since the beginning of time to establish all He called us to!

Thank You Lord, in Jesus Mighty Name have Your way in our lives!

Let me know if this has helped you or some tips on how you fast, love to hear from you!

God bless, love

24th Feb 201916th Mar 2020

Forgiveness Part (1)

As I lay all at Your feet I hear You say, is the cross enough? Is the suffering I endured enough to take away what you have endured? Is it enough that I broke eternal perfection to bring down one of the perfection of the Godhead, to be entirely man and entirely God, with no sin in Him so that you, each and everyone of you, will have an advocate and friend seated in Heavenly places? So that when you hit rock bottom of whatever place mentally, physically, spiritually you find yourself in today, you will know without that shadow of doubt I am here, with you in this place you are never alone. I am there, standing beside my Father, calling out for you, calling out to you, saying you can do this, we can get there, I have also been there, that is how I know you and me together we can lift this cross, carry this burden and set you free, because I already carried you there 2019years ago! Is it enough that I walked the earth during some of the most difficult times to empathise with your needs, temptations and desires? Is it enough that I lived, was born and died an adopted Son of a carpenter?

But what am I to you? Who do you say I am? Am I, or do you know me, as a friend, closer than a brother or lover? Do you know me as a wonderful counsellor? Do you know me as your heavenly Father? Do you know me as God the only Potentate and what does that mean for you?

I can tell you who I know Him to be, if you’re interested? My experience of Father God, Holy Spirit and tender-loving Jesus Christ.

I know Him as my Father, so intricately woven into the very fabric of my being He has done open-heart surgery to my heart, removing, cleaning out hurt, damage and self-destruction I never even knew was there but His hand, more gentle and tender than any surgeon could ever mustre.

I know Him as my Father who loves me so much He keeps me safe in my darkest moments, whether of the mind or decisions that could have been detrimental. He has kept my head and life above water on many occassions, at times when I was far from Him I can see, as I look back, His Almighty hand carrying me through, often in potential physical harm too!

I know Him, since I was 8years old, as my Comforter, Counsellor and gentle, tender Holy Spirit who has led me faithfully my entire life, even when I was far from Him, again. Him, He has always been my safety net. I can truly say Thank You Lord and Thank You for giving me praying parents who loved and appreciated me their best.

I know Him since I was born as God the Only Potentate. My mother thought she wasn’t able to have more children since she had my sister and miraculously I was born. I was born prematurely and at a very vulnerable age went home in the Zimbabwean heat of 45°C, contracted pneumonia. After days and weeks being ill my mother thought I was breathing better that’s why I had quietened down. As usual one of my favourite sayings… but God… but God knew I wasn’t and sent my dear pastor out to get something from the shop and as he passed our house the Lord said to him in Afrikaans(cause the Lord speaks all languages fluently… even though we all secretly think He speaks only ours and translates for others, come on now, we all know we do…) ‘Ietsie’s vout daar binne.'(‘Somethings wrong in there’). He came into our house, knowing my parents like son and daughter, he picked me up and said I was already blue… Now I spent my whole life trying to reconcile this story, until one day at the age of 15 Oupa Dup(as we affectionately called him) came and told me himself. That’s when I believed it for the first time. I saw that for him it was a miracle he also was in awe of the Lord for. He picked me up, and prayed, the rest is history. I’ve had many other miracles but that one always seals it for me. I knew Him at birth, intimately!

I know Him as a counsellor who moves gently, aptly across paths of lives and hearts directing people who think they have nothing to do with Him, but somewhere, a parent, friend, counsellor and often even a teacher; is praying for them and He, Almighty God, has the last word, saving people young and old from self-destructive behaviour towards His eternal life-giving relationship!

I know Him as a Father, who, when we as a couple were faced with the possibility of abortion, said absolutely not and we live the beautiful result of a full family today. Also a Father who loves, heals and restores the hearts and souls who, for whatever reason, absolutely not was not an option and abortion became a part of their story… but God has a better plan, how? Only He can say, but He always has a restoration plan in place, that’s how much He loves us…

John 3:16 ‘For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.’ NIV

8th Feb 201916th Mar 2020

9th February, 2019

Question for South Africa

Do you not know South Africa that I will have my way;

Isaiah 43:13

“Yes, and from ancient days I am He. No one can deliver out of my hand. When I act who can reverse it?”

Do you not know South Africa that when the Lord has decided and decreed and declared a thing it will come to pass and He has decided and decreed and declared from the beginning of time that South Africa’s future will be hope for all nations shining it’s light to Jesus, bringin g deliverance to the nations, starting from here. The Lord has shown me for a week now how He has reserved for Himself a remnant of His people who do life in reality, that keep themselves wound up and bound up in Him, in the things of His Kingdom and His people; reaching unsaved and drawing them in with chords of loving-kindness and overflowing in patience, love and care while the world continues in their dysfunctional disconnect (of living life in snapshots of Instagram pics, facebook moments and coffee shop ‘visits’, what do we really know of each other, when will we come back to knowing one another, living in each others homes, praying about what’s really going on in life?)

The Lord showed me that the same way He parted the mighty waters, holding them back until the exact right second, making perfect and dry ground (meaning they were safe… women, children, elderly, animals and all… God knows every detail) until the very second that each of them was safely planted on the other side of the sea and ensuring that every single remnance of the enemy chasing after them, because every single remnance of the enemy was chasing after them, would be annihalated! He let go, at just the right time, in the right moment, not a moment too soon, not a moment too late, He knows the times, He is the only one who does. Trust Him, rely on Him, listen to Him, allow Him the intimate moments of your time, secret places of your heart, that is where He will start the journey to wholeness, to LIFE. His perfect plans and perfect purpose for your life will be unveiled, revealed as you wait on Him, as you wait in Him, He will reveal the secrets of His Kingdom plans, His Kingdom purposes in and for and through you to reach the hurt and lost and dying world around you. Trust in Him alone!

The Lord showed me, regarding

Isaiah 43:16

“This is what the Lord says – He who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters,”

1 -He held back that water to accomplish His will, of carrying His people to the promise of the promised land He had made to them when Abraham first heard the words of God to pack up and leave. His timing is perfect, His will unknown, yet we can trust and wait knowing it is what will be for our betterment, our good. Rom 8:28; Jer 29:11-12

2 – He held back that water, as He now is withholding His wrath, but again it will only be until the very last second. If you’re coming, now’s the time to jump into His arms, there’s not a second to loose, He Loves you, He cares for you, He spread His holy arms out to prove to you how much He wants you there with Him in His perfect eternity, come with Him won’t you, join Him and help others to know Him, He wants you, He split perfection to know you, know your trials, know your heartache, temptation, loss and feelings of hopelessness, depression, He knows every single one. His own friends betrayed Him, ran out on Him when He needed them most, but God… never ran out on any one of us, He fulfilled His promise of a promised land He has gone ahead to prepare for us and is waiting, no, not just waiting, praying for us to join Him and bring everyone we know along with us!

Will we go? Will we do His will! Call others! Quickly time is running out!! Tell them all they need to know… Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so!

Love and God bless!

7th Feb 201916th Mar 2020

Whom shall I fear? Part (2)

In follow up with my first post on the fear of man, I have been praying this for myself, not sure if it would be helpful to anyone else, hope it is. Let me know what fears you are struggling with?

I have written a prayer, in red, under the Psalms words to pray through the lines above it.

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear? Lord, God I lift my eyes to You my light and my salvation, may I fear You alone, please Father.

The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid? Lord, God remind me when I am afraid that You are my stronghold, my safe tower and my refuge, remind me to run to You with my fears and desires, please?

²When the wicked advance against me
    to devour^a] me,
it is my enemies and my foes
    who will stumble and fall.                                         Lord, God, help me to allow my heart to be anchored by You alone, to not see friends as enemies and trust You Almighty God to slay the fears that try to control my mind as I bring all my thoughts, plans, emotions, memories and daily life to You in submission and I trust You to cause them and the repitition of them to stumble and fall!
³Though an army besiege me,
    my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
    even then I will be confident.                                                                               Father, God, when I looked up and saw the tower that this fear of man has made infront of me and the fact that it almost comes between you and me because I allow it to stop me doing what You have called me to, God I pray please forgive me. Please help me to stop allowing these fears to keep me from You and all You have called me to, help me to not allow daily incidences to feel like a besiegement and to know that You will not allow war to break out against me because my heart is anchored in you!

⁴One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.
⁵For in the day of trouble
    he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
    and set me high upon a rock.                                 Father, God, may I keep my eyes on You and You alone, may I ever consider the day we meet and treasure it in my heart. Remind me of that day when I am faced with the choice again of giving in to the feeble lie of fear and following Your eternal plan for my life, that I am Yours and we will sit together and laugh at the day You overcame my fears with me, for me, through me, bringing me into eternal bliss from my earthly mayhem. May I know that You alone are enough, I need no other foundation, no other rock to build on and no other confirmation of who or whose I am, please God, my Lord.

⁶Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord. Lord, God, Almighty, my friend, my beloved, the Lover of my soul, how can I ever thank You enough, how can I ever pour my life out to You enough for You have given me this life. Before You I was nothing, before You I was lost, before You I was broken, sinful and ashamed but with You, in You, through You I am redeemed, loved, set free and eternally, perfectly Loved, how can I not rejoice, thank You God Almighty

⁷Hear my voice when I call, Lord;
    be merciful to me and answer me.
⁸My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
    Your face, Lord, I will seek.
⁹Do not hide your face from me,
    do not turn your servant away in anger;
    you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
    God my Savior.
¹⁰Though my father and mother forsake me,
    the Lord will receive me.
¹¹Teach me your way, Lord;
    lead me in a straight path
    because of my oppressors.
¹²Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
    for false witnesses rise up against me,
    spouting malicious accusations.

¹³I remain confident of this:
    I will see the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living.
¹⁴Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord.