Forgiveness Part (1)

God is good... all the time!

As I lay all at Your feet I hear You say, is the cross enough? Is the suffering I endured enough to take away what you have endured? Is it enough that I broke eternal perfection to bring down one of the perfection of the Godhead, to be entirely man and entirely God, with no sin in Him so that you, each and everyone of you, will have an advocate and friend seated in Heavenly places? So that when you hit rock bottom of whatever place mentally, physically, spiritually you find yourself in today, you will know without that shadow of doubt I am here, with you in this place you are never alone. I am there, standing beside my Father, calling out for you, calling out to you, saying you can do this, we can get there, I have also been there, that is how I know you and me together we can lift this cross, carry this burden and set you free, because I already carried you there 2019years ago! Is it enough that I walked the earth during some of the most difficult times to empathise with your needs, temptations and desires? Is it enough that I lived, was born and died an adopted Son of a carpenter?

But what am I to you? Who do you say I am? Am I, or do you know me, as a friend, closer than a brother or lover? Do you know me as a wonderful counsellor? Do you know me as your heavenly Father? Do you know me as God the only Potentate and what does that mean for you?

I can tell you who I know Him to be, if you’re interested? My experience of Father God, Holy Spirit and tender-loving Jesus Christ.

I know Him as my Father, so intricately woven into the very fabric of my being He has done open-heart surgery to my heart, removing, cleaning out hurt, damage and self-destruction I never even knew was there but His hand, more gentle and tender than any surgeon could ever mustre.

I know Him as my Father who loves me so much He keeps me safe in my darkest moments, whether of the mind or decisions that  could have been detrimental. He has kept my head and life above water on many occassions, at times when I was far from Him I can see, as I look back, His Almighty hand carrying me through, often in potential physical harm too!

I know Him, since I was 8years old, as my Comforter, Counsellor and gentle, tender Holy Spirit who has led me faithfully my entire life, even when I was far from Him, again. Him, He has always been my safety net. I can truly say Thank You Lord and Thank You for giving me praying parents who loved and appreciated me their best.

I know Him since I was born as God the Only Potentate. My mother thought she wasn’t able to have more children since she had my sister and miraculously I was born. I was born prematurely and at a very vulnerable age went home in the Zimbabwean heat of 45°C, contracted pneumonia. After days and weeks being ill my mother thought I was breathing better that’s why I had quietened down. As usual one of my favourite sayings… but God… but God knew I wasn’t and sent my dear pastor out to get something from the shop and as he passed our house the Lord said to him in Afrikaans(cause the Lord speaks all languages fluently… even though we all secretly think He speaks only ours and translates for others, come on now, we all know we do…) ‘Ietsie’s vout daar binne.'(‘Somethings wrong in there’). He came into our house, knowing my parents like son and daughter, he picked me up and said I was already blue… Now I spent my whole life trying to reconcile this story, until one day at the age of 15 Oupa Dup(as we affectionately called him) came and told me himself. That’s when I believed it for the first time. I saw that for him it was a miracle he also was in awe of the Lord for. He picked me up, and prayed, the rest is history. I’ve had many other miracles but that one always seals it for me. I knew Him at birth, intimately!

I know Him as a counsellor who moves gently, aptly across paths of lives and hearts directing people who think they have nothing to do with Him, but somewhere, a parent, friend, counsellor and often even a teacher; is praying for them and He, Almighty God, has the last word, saving people young and old from self-destructive behaviour towards His eternal life-giving relationship!

I know Him as a Father, who, when we as a couple were faced with the possibility of abortion, said absolutely not and we live the beautiful result of a full family today. Also a Father who loves, heals and restores the hearts and souls who, for whatever reason, absolutely not was not an option and abortion became a part of their story… but God has a better plan, how? Only He can say, but He always has a restoration plan in place, that’s how much He loves us…

John 3:16 ‘For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.’ NIV

9th February, 2019

Question for South Africa

Do you not know South Africa that I will have my way;

Isaiah 43:13

“Yes, and from ancient days I am He. No one can deliver out of my hand. When I act who can reverse it?”

Do you not know South Africa that when the Lord has decided and decreed and declared a thing it will come to pass and He has decided and decreed and declared from the beginning of time that South Africa’s future will be hope for all nations shining it’s light to Jesus, bringin g deliverance to the nations, starting from here. The Lord has shown me for a week now how He has reserved for Himself a remnant of His people who do life in reality, that keep themselves wound up and bound up in Him, in the things of His Kingdom and His people; reaching unsaved and drawing them in with chords of loving-kindness and overflowing in patience, love and care while the world continues in their dysfunctional disconnect (of living life in snapshots of Instagram pics, facebook moments and coffee shop ‘visits’, what do we really know of each other, when will we come back to knowing one another, living in each others homes, praying about what’s really going on in life?)

The Lord showed me that the same way He parted the mighty waters, holding them back until the exact right second, making perfect and dry ground (meaning they were safe… women, children, elderly, animals and all… God knows every detail) until the very second that each of them was safely planted on the other side of the sea and ensuring that every single remnance of the enemy chasing after them, because every single remnance of the enemy was chasing after them, would be annihalated! He let go, at just the right time, in the right moment, not a moment too soon, not a moment too late, He knows the times, He is the only one who does. Trust Him, rely on Him, listen to Him, allow Him the intimate moments of your time, secret places of your heart, that is where He will start the journey to wholeness, to LIFE. His perfect plans and perfect purpose for your life will be unveiled, revealed as you wait on Him, as you wait in Him, He will reveal the secrets of His Kingdom plans, His Kingdom purposes in and for and through you to reach the hurt and lost and dying world around you. Trust in Him alone!

The Lord showed me, regarding

Isaiah 43:16

“This is what the Lord says – He who made a way through the sea,                             a path through the mighty waters,”

1 -He held back that water to accomplish His will, of carrying His people to the   promise of the promised land He had made to them when Abraham first heard the words of God to pack up and leave. His timing is perfect, His will unknown, yet we can trust and wait knowing it is what will be for our betterment, our good. Rom 8:28; Jer 29:11-12

2 – He held back that water, as He now is withholding His wrath, but again it will only be until the very last second. If you’re coming, now’s the time to jump into His arms, there’s not a second to loose, He Loves you, He cares for you, He spread His holy arms out to prove to you how much He wants you there with Him in His perfect eternity, come with Him won’t you, join Him and help others to know Him, He wants you, He split perfection to know you, know your trials, know your heartache, temptation, loss and feelings of hopelessness, depression, He knows every single one. His own friends betrayed Him, ran out on Him when He needed them most, but God… never ran out on any one of us, He fulfilled His promise of a promised land He has gone ahead to prepare for us and is waiting, no, not just waiting, praying for us to join Him and bring everyone we know along with us!

Will we go? Will we do His will! Call others! Quickly time is running out!! Tell them all they need to know… Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so!

Love and God bless!

Whom shall I fear? Part (2)

In follow up with my first post on the fear of man, I have been praying this for myself, not sure if it would be helpful to anyone else, hope it is. Let me know what fears you are struggling with?

I have written a prayer, in red, under the Psalms words to pray through the lines above it.

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?                                                                                                      Lord, God I lift my eyes to You my light and my salvation, may I fear You alone, please Father.

The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?                                                                                               Lord, God remind me when I am afraid that You are my stronghold, my safe tower and my refuge, remind me to run to You with my fears and desires, please?

2 When the wicked advance against me
    to devoura] me,
it is my enemies and my foes
    who will stumble and fall.                                                                                         Lord, God, help me to allow my heart to be anchored by You alone, to not see friends as enemies and trust You Almighty God to slay the fears that try to control my mind as I bring all my thoughts, plans, emotions, memories and daily life to You in submission and I trust You to cause them and the repitition of them to stumble and fall!
3 Though an army besiege me,
    my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
    even then I will be confident.                                                                                   Father, God, when I looked up and saw the tower that this fear of man has made infront of me and the fact that it almost comes between you and me because I allow it to stop me doing what You have called me to, God I pray please forgive me. Please help me to stop allowing these fears to keep me from You and all You have called me to, help me to not allow daily incidences to feel like a besiegement and to know that You will not allow war to break out against me because my heart is anchored in you!        

4 One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.
5 For in the day of trouble
    he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
    and set me high upon a rock.                                                                             Father, God, may I keep my eyes on You and You alone, may I ever consider the day we meet and treasure it in my heart. Remind me of that day when I am faced with the choice again of giving in to the feeble lie of fear and following Your eternal plan for my life, that I am Yours and we will sit together and laugh at the day You overcame my fears with me, for me, through me, bringing me into eternal bliss from my earthly mayhem. May I know that You alone are enough, I need no other foundation, no other rock to build on and no other confirmation of who or whose I am, please God, my Lord.

6 Then my head will be exalted
    above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
    I will sing and make music to the Lord.                                                             Lord, God, Almighty,  my friend, my beloved, the Lover of my soul, how can I ever thank You enough, how can I ever pour my life out to You enough for You have given me this life. Before You I was nothing, before You I was lost, before You I was broken, sinful and ashamed but with You, in You, through You I am redeemed, loved, set free and eternally, perfectly Loved, how can I not rejoice, thank You God Almighty

7 Hear my voice when I call, Lord;
    be merciful to me and answer me.
8 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
    Your face, Lord, I will seek.
9 Do not hide your face from me,
    do not turn your servant away in anger;
    you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
    God my Savior.
10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
    the Lord will receive me.
11 Teach me your way, Lord;
    lead me in a straight path
    because of my oppressors.
12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
    for false witnesses rise up against me,
    spouting malicious accusations.

13 I remain confident of this:
    I will see the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord.                                                                                                         

Whom shall I fear? Part (1)

8th of January

Having had a long, curly, full head of hair, I decided to make a change and told the hair dresser to do whatever he feels suits my face and closed my eyes and watched…. well… watched…. closed my eyes initially, but then when his razor got stuck because there was too much hair…. (this should have been my cue to quit) I did open my eyes and saw that my hair was falling… ughem… rather rapidly to the floor.

Now with a week of a very short, mostly manly haircut, I have been thinking about what makes me a woman, because, I don’t wear make up anymore, I don’t wear hair anymore and in essence what makes me a woman if I’m not doning the things the woman is expected by this society to don, what is being a lady if it’s not putting on your make up, doing your hair, when all of those things are out of the way what is being a woman and looking feminine in your Godly purpose/role that you were born for? This was my initial thought. Guess I’ll have to think long n hard about this.

My next thought was why is this bothering me so much? When I shut myself in the room and prayed about it I finally realised I have a huge issue about this and asked the Lord to reveal to me what the actual heart issue was and why I felt so strongly about my hair. You have probably guessed it, but I wasn’t completely shocked, when the Lord showed me the huge burden over my head is the fear of man. Well, now I’ve got my work cut out for me, how am I going to solve this one? I guess the same way I heard about it, on my knees.

Issues of rejection, neglect and abuse have left their mark on my mind, heart and soul, but the perfect Lover and Father of my soul will reveal and heal all as He has up until now.

Trust you have similar testimonies of love and healing experiences and would love to pray with you and hear how you overcome these issues, send me a note to chat @ orderingmayhem co za.

Read Whom shall I fear? Part (2) here…

 

25th July, 2018 to New Year 2019

Word

Recording of thoughts, memories and readings.

My hubby asked me what have I been studying in the word and I said I’ve been studying rebellion. Now this sounds like a heavy but I feel like the person who is swimming out beyond the breakers in the sea and the current is about to sweep me up. And the Lord is saying to me, “Come on, Come on, get away from the edge, get away from those breakers and swim back to me!” and I’m almost saying “I enjoy shark teeth more!” and fighting against everything the Lord’s saying and this is not where I want to be right now. Even in the same night after this realisation, the Lord had told me not to mention a specific thing He was working with me on and I decided to take it up at lifegroup, instead of being quiet, I still went and said it out loud at lifegroup and I should possibly not have said anything at all.

Still struggling with the attitude and heart attitude of rebellion, to change and do what the Lord says I should do and not to fight against the Lord.

My favourite song at the time was “Victory belongs to Jesus” by Todd Delaney and it starts with the words “Who can stand against the Lord? No one can” That’s effectively what I am trying to do by opposing Him, rebelling against Him, it’s pointless. Not wanting to do all He is calling me to, but at the same time, I should be, this would save me time, heartache and stress… submission. It’s a difficult subject for us at the moment in our culture of rebellion, rock n roll lifestyle and live life your way, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

This is a very dangerous place to be as we no longer submit to authority, pastors, husbands and even the Lord Himself.

Please Father God, help me to hear and obey, I desperately need you!

This I feel is an imperative reminder for me of something I wrote earlier in 2018 but I need to keep myself close to the heart of my Father in order to remain under (definition of submission:- remain under) Him! Him and His beautiful promises for me, Him and His beautiful plans for me, Him and His beautiful laws put there to keep me on track, to protect me, to bring me to a place where I live in His good, pleasing, perfect will to the best of my grace inspired abilities.

HAPPY NEW YEAR friends, be blessed and may God lead you and guide you into the fullness of what He has for you and your family in 2019!

Feel free to sign up to my e-mail subscription on the right hand side of the blog or here!