One leg on the wrong side of the fence?
Ever feel like something’s weighing you down?
Hi there!
So this week I felt like maybe I am living with one half of me, the heaviest part of me (even though it should be equally weighted, but somehow, it seems heavier), on the wrong side of the fence.
As I was praying the Lord showed me a person, it was a silhouette of a man sitting on the wall with one leg on either side of it. One side of the wall, was not necessarily dark, but darker almost as if in the shadow of the other side of the wall, but not entirely. I could see the person as if on a journey with their back towards me, moving in the opposite direction. Strangely they were trying to move in that direction but he was seated on the wall. While moving in the opposite direction one side of his body kept pulling him almost off the wall as if that side was weighted down and the other side was easier to move and carry along the wall.
As I kept looking, the Lord said to me that side needs to be seared off. As it says in the word if your eye causes you to sin, you should gouge it out. (Mat 18:9) Now this may seem a little harsh, we don’t speak like that nowadays. But let’s just imagine for a moment that the person is the head of a homegroup, a bible study or children’s church and whatever is weighing them down causes them eventually to fall off that wall and into whatever sin they keep dallying with? What becomes of the people they have been leading. Now, before you write this off, let’s think about who we are leading in our personal lives. You may be a mother or father, maybe you don’t have kids but the people at work are watching you because they’ve seen that e-mail with the Lord’s name that comes daily or a calendar or mousepad with a bible verse. They can see there’s something different about you and then one day you fall into the major temptation you have been dallying with slightly and give in completely. Your entire testimony for Christ shattered. Will He forgive you, always, without a doubt, but you will loose all the inheritance you have been saving up in His Kingdom your entire life.
If you were that leader, you will loose all the honour and respect of the people you have been so closely working with all this time. I bet if we asked any leader who has had a temptation crush their lives they would rather have heeded this warning, if your eye causes you to stumble gouge it out, than have lost everything due to the one eye weighing them off that wall.
Come on guys, we all have it, that little temptation that’s nothing major at all, but if we allow it to grow, if we allow it to go unchecked, it has the potential to knock us entirely off our walk with the Lord.
What’s mine, I love my creature comforts, I love sleeping, indulge myself with good food and a lot of extra lazy time. There’s a lot I should be doing but I put it off, I pretend it’s not important and not a job for right now. Is this a major sin, probably not for anyone else, but for me, this started to take away from quality and ability of life for myself and my family. I lived behind, I don’t know how to do this and believed it until I prayed and asked the Lord to help me overcome this and He has given me practical ideas and tips of what to do. This is one of the reasons we have lived in a crowded, chaotic and hoarder type house until now. Fortunately, by the grace of God, He has been spurring me on in this department and I have been working on it. Still needs a lot of work!!
How did I find my blindspot, after all, it’s a blindspot?
Ask the Lord. Be honest with yourself and the Lord. Pray, ask God to show you where you have any places of temptation that you may even be blind to. He has so much for you and living with a blindspot will keep you going round your mountain. Ask, He is faithful to show you gently as you are able to deal with them, one by one, releasing you into freedom!! Where we all want to be!
I had to be honest. Say Lord I don’t like to be told I am lazy, I am not living up to my role as a good mother, keeping a clean, organised house. My house wasn’t dirty, but, definitely not what it could be as far as organised and the sanctuary you want for your family. I had to be honest and ask people, how do I accomplish minor tasks that everyone else does everyday. I had to admit, I don’t know how to do this, I don’t have the skills to run a home. But the minute I became transparent and asked the Lord to show me my blindspot, which was my laziness, things started to change, because I never believed I was lazy and always thought I was hardworking. When I admitted that, I could start dealing with the rest.
Getting help was partly accountability, partly learning the skills. The minute I started asking key people in my life to help me, come in and show me what and how to do the minor things most people learn while they are children, it all started to turn around. Do I live in a neat and uncluttered organised home, not quite yet, but definitely on our way to much more stability than we’ve ever had before! By the grace of God! Slowly, day by day, small daily disciplines to keep routine, order and life is looking more stable.
Prayer is the final, continual step. Praying that the Lord would help me. Keep me accountable, honest with myself. Praying that the Lord would sear off all connection I had with that selfish, lazy, old nature in order for me to live free! Almost checking off daily, how did I do today? Asking the Lord to help me for this day, thanking Him and asking Him to help me for the next day or week or month. I need to ask daily, I probably fall off my wall daily, it’s nicer to read or write than cook and clean, but prayer… but God… now I know, it’s nicer to read or write in a clean, ordered home with God leading me on to His grace!
Trust this helps you, I have been working on it for sometime now and I, as always and all of us, am a work in progress. By the grace of God I am alive, by the grace of God I grow daily.
Extra verses Matthew 6:22-23
Let me know if this has helped you, no really, get in touch, love to hear if we are connecting on the same level?
A Testimony of Redemption
One of my redemption stories, I have so many!
I guess one of my first redemption stories is that in the middle of my mess, the Lord sent this man along my path who pursued me relentlessly, for 2 months, he pursued me until we started dating and, after a while, it became evident we were made to be together! The Lord used this journey to bring us both back to Him in the most spectacular way.
When we first started dating, we fought like cat and dog, we were constantly bickering, and it was actually a problem, and caused a lot of friction between us and we nearly gave up on each other and the beautiful destiny the Lord had for us. We had much to learn about compromise, when to let the other have their way and not to hold grudges or let the sun go down on your anger. These were important keys to us overcoming the constant confrontation.
The biggest revelation came to me one day when the Lord, in His infinite wisdom somehow (I think through a radio program) told me that my hubby was just a man… go figure… who would have thought it! But, no, really! God showed me that I was always expecting perfection from my hubby. Because my hubby was so amazingly good to me and I had found a massive percentage of my security in my hubby, I had come to expect it. I had placed unrealistic expectations of perfection on my hubby and wanted him to love me perfectly, never make a mistake, never forget anything, always have perfect and beautiful things to say to me and generally love me perfectly, after all he is close to it (nudge, nudge, wink, wink… scoring points with hubby!!!).
Well, the Lord showed me that He is the only perfect one. He is the only one from who I should be seeking perfect love that casts out all fear, because He can give it to me. He is the only One from whom I should be seeking my fulfillment, when I am full of Him, I will need no other, when I am full of Him, I will need no more perfection from any other imperfect person, when I allow Him to saturate me and meet my every need I will take my eyes off my hubby and place them squarely where they need to be. Allowing my hubby the freedom to be the man he was created to be. He’s now living free of me making a perfection trap for him to fall into even before he’s woken up every day. I still struggle, but I’m trying, not to expect too much!
We, as wives, and especially wives who’ve had the privilege of being married longer, need to be spending that ever-important time with Our Heavenly Father, in order to role model how it looks when we accept the most precious person in our lives, whether they hit the nail on the head or missed totally. All wives, moms, daughters, daughters-in-law, we should pray for each other, our husbands, mothers, fathers and all of our family relations. As this picture perfect life of FB, Instagram, Twitter and whatever other (steal your life through time on a screen) media we can come up with next, becomes more and more prevalent and starts to dictate our lives, expectations and aspirations, we need to stay firmly placed in the arms of our Heavenly Father, deeply rooted in all He has for us. Allow Him to set our sights, allow Him to dictate and write your narrative. The world is and always will be broken, take your cue’s from the Master who not only wrote the manual but designed your every fiber, keep close, stay low on your knees and know He has your all in all, He designed you for the very purpose that is the heartbeat of your life.
Why do we need to live with expectation on Him, loving unconditionally and praying for and modelling it for the next generations of moms and daughters. There are probably a million reasons we can think of, but, for now let’s think of these. If not us then who, what if loving your spouse died out with our generation or our parents, the world will have won. The only way to combat the destruction and devastation of the enemy and what he wants the world to be and do, is through the construction and intentional work of the basis God gave us for functioning and thriving in life – the family. God’s perfect design for each individual human being is to know and be known in and through the beauty of community, which, fundamentally starts at home.
In short,
- Time with God = freedom to love others freely without expecting them to fulfill your every need.
- Keep our eyes on Him alone, no one is perfect – keep that for Social Media (time thief).
- Love on and pray for hubbies and wives everywhere!
- Model for younger women, especially our daughters (conviction for me!!) how to love the men in your life.
- Why love unconditionally, why spend time with and keep our eyes on Him, why love on our hubbies and model for the new generation? We want God’s legacy of strength in family bonds as the picture of heavenly perfection through that, to be carried over from generation to generation, by our intentionality of living life in love with Jesus first, and working out that love in action in our daily lives.
God is good is all I can say! Only by His grace I am still alive, let alone having lived to be married to the most marvelous man who makes me feel safe in life with him, but most importantly, always reminds me of how I’m safe in the Father’s arms. Then to live the experience of my beautiful children. It’s a tremendous privilege.
Forgiveness Part (2)
14th Wedding Anniversary!
So this year, with the testimony and privilege of celebrating my 14th wedding anniversary, I can safely say that I’ve been on the track of wholeheartedly serving the Lord for approximately 15years now. This having been said, I heard the Lord say to me this morning that I’ve been so broken and full of hurt, pain and unforgiveness that I was not even aware of, that I have been incapable of fully receiving His Love.
This statement completely flawed me, as I have on many occassions been slain in the absolute Love of our generous Father, but with the Lord showing me through 3 different friends and relatives that I have unforgiveness that needs to be dealt with, I spent time with Him on this issue, fasting and praying and He has been at work again!
The way I fast and pray, which works for me(after a bit of trial and error, over a few years) this is not strictly following a certain biblical way of fasting, but I feel more a relational way…
My 5 steps to fasting relationally…
- I ask the Lord what to fast about, in this instance, the fasting topic was brought to my attention first, most of the time my fasting has been as a response to what the Lord has shown me needs attention. There are other times I fast, for instance, on a weekly basis for my family which is a certain day and time weekly, when I ask the Lord what to fast about this week and He responds to me and tells me the topic of this week’s fast for that set time.
- Once I know the topic, I ask the Lord how long to fast for? Is it a day, an hour, a week, but the Lord is gracious and generous. I used to be able to do 30day fasts when you only eat something small in the evening after sunset etc, but, now that I have a whole family to look after I can’t seem to manage those fasts and be a blessing to my family, while not eating… go figure!
- I ask the Lord what to fast, or what type of fast to have? Certain things in my menu have been important to me at certain times of my life. At this stage of my life I’ve given up my evening cuppa along with meat for 3weeks… this takes it’s toll, not really recommended unless you see your doc first especially for ladies! When I was younger T.V. played a major role of 2 or so hours in my life and I would give that up to fast and pray at that time.
- I don’t know if it’s considered theologically correct, or not, but, then I start to pray, just in tongues, ask God to open my eyes to see what He sees in the situation and what to pray for and how. Then I continue my days as usual, I fast at the times I would have had the coffee or meat I say to the Lord, ‘Lord, God, I am fasting and giving this up to you and praying as we discussed , please would You release this to me or free this one from that or whatever the request is.
- As with all things the Lord is faithful in all He does! He reveals and answers the prayers as we ask Him and trust Him. There are times, as with this time of fasting for unforgiveness for me, that it is necessary to ask someone in a position of leadership, revelation or having experience in the same area to pray with you through, for, or into breakthrough for that issue. Trust the Lord to show you the right person for that, don’t just take the first person that comes to mind, you could get hurt, wait on Him.
Then anytime you’re alone get into the Presence of God, housework is my most dangerous time. I spend hours worshipping, crying, singing, dancing and breakthrough comes in the most magnificent manner…
All Glory to God as He does His infamous open-heart surgery without even needing to delve into the details, He works, He removes, He re-inserts His Love, His beliefs of how He sees us, made us and what He has for us; His paradigms for us to be whole, as He intended us to be, healed and returned to Him to accomplish His dreams He placed within us since the beginning of time to establish all He called us to!
Thank You Lord, in Jesus Mighty Name have Your way in our lives!
Let me know if this has helped you or some tips on how you fast, love to hear from you!
God bless, love
As
Forgiveness Part (1)
As I lay all at Your feet I hear You say, is the cross enough? Is the suffering I endured enough to take away what you have endured? Is it enough that I broke eternal perfection to bring down one of the perfection of the Godhead, to be entirely man and entirely God, with no sin in Him so that you, each and everyone of you, will have an advocate and friend seated in Heavenly places? So that when you hit rock bottom of whatever place mentally, physically, spiritually you find yourself in today, you will know without that shadow of doubt I am here, with you in this place you are never alone. I am there, standing beside my Father, calling out for you, calling out to you, saying you can do this, we can get there, I have also been there, that is how I know you and me together we can lift this cross, carry this burden and set you free, because I already carried you there 2019years ago! Is it enough that I walked the earth during some of the most difficult times to empathise with your needs, temptations and desires? Is it enough that I lived, was born and died an adopted Son of a carpenter?
But what am I to you? Who do you say I am? Am I, or do you know me, as a friend, closer than a brother or lover? Do you know me as a wonderful counsellor? Do you know me as your heavenly Father? Do you know me as God the only Potentate and what does that mean for you?
I can tell you who I know Him to be, if you’re interested? My experience of Father God, Holy Spirit and tender-loving Jesus Christ.
I know Him as my Father, so intricately woven into the very fabric of my being He has done open-heart surgery to my heart, removing, cleaning out hurt, damage and self-destruction I never even knew was there but His hand, more gentle and tender than any surgeon could ever mustre.
I know Him as my Father who loves me so much He keeps me safe in my darkest moments, whether of the mind or decisions that could have been detrimental. He has kept my head and life above water on many occassions, at times when I was far from Him I can see, as I look back, His Almighty hand carrying me through, often in potential physical harm too!
I know Him, since I was 8years old, as my Comforter, Counsellor and gentle, tender Holy Spirit who has led me faithfully my entire life, even when I was far from Him, again. Him, He has always been my safety net. I can truly say Thank You Lord and Thank You for giving me praying parents who loved and appreciated me their best.
I know Him since I was born as God the Only Potentate. My mother thought she wasn’t able to have more children since she had my sister and miraculously I was born. I was born prematurely and at a very vulnerable age went home in the Zimbabwean heat of 45°C, contracted pneumonia. After days and weeks being ill my mother thought I was breathing better that’s why I had quietened down. As usual one of my favourite sayings… but God… but God knew I wasn’t and sent my dear pastor out to get something from the shop and as he passed our house the Lord said to him in Afrikaans(cause the Lord speaks all languages fluently… even though we all secretly think He speaks only ours and translates for others, come on now, we all know we do…) ‘Ietsie’s vout daar binne.'(‘Somethings wrong in there’). He came into our house, knowing my parents like son and daughter, he picked me up and said I was already blue… Now I spent my whole life trying to reconcile this story, until one day at the age of 15 Oupa Dup(as we affectionately called him) came and told me himself. That’s when I believed it for the first time. I saw that for him it was a miracle he also was in awe of the Lord for. He picked me up, and prayed, the rest is history. I’ve had many other miracles but that one always seals it for me. I knew Him at birth, intimately!
I know Him as a counsellor who moves gently, aptly across paths of lives and hearts directing people who think they have nothing to do with Him, but somewhere, a parent, friend, counsellor and often even a teacher; is praying for them and He, Almighty God, has the last word, saving people young and old from self-destructive behaviour towards His eternal life-giving relationship!
I know Him as a Father, who, when we as a couple were faced with the possibility of abortion, said absolutely not and we live the beautiful result of a full family today. Also a Father who loves, heals and restores the hearts and souls who, for whatever reason, absolutely not was not an option and abortion became a part of their story… but God has a better plan, how? Only He can say, but He always has a restoration plan in place, that’s how much He loves us…
John 3:16 ‘For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.’ NIV