Ever feel like something’s weighing you down?
So this week I felt like maybe I am living with one half of me, the heaviest part of me (even though it should be equally weighted, but somehow, it seems heavier), on the wrong side of the fence.
As I was praying the Lord showed me a person, it was a silhouette of a man sitting on the wall with one leg on either side of it. One side of the wall, was not necessarily dark, but darker almost as if in the shadow of the other side of the wall, but not entirely. I could see the person as if on a journey with their back towards me, moving in the opposite direction. Strangely they were trying to move in that direction but he was seated on the wall. While moving in the opposite direction one side of his body kept pulling him almost off the wall as if that side was weighted down and the other side was easier to move and carry along the wall.
As I kept looking, the Lord said to me that side needs to be seared off. As it says in the word if your eye causes you to sin, you should gouge it out. (Mat 18:9) Now this may seem a little harsh, we don’t speak like that nowadays. But let’s just imagine for a moment that the person is the head of a homegroup, a bible study or children’s church and whatever is weighing them down causes them eventually to fall off that wall and into whatever sin they keep dallying with? What becomes of the people they have been leading. Now, before you write this off, let’s think about who we are leading in our personal lives. You may be a mother or father, maybe you don’t have kids but the people at work are watching you because they’ve seen that e-mail with the Lord’s name that comes daily or a calendar or mousepad with a bible verse. They can see there’s something different about you and then one day you fall into the major temptation you have been dallying with slightly and give in completely. Your entire testimony for Christ shattered. Will He forgive you, always, without a doubt, but you will loose all the inheritance you have been saving up in His Kingdom your entire life.
If you were that leader, you will loose all the honour and respect of the people you have been so closely working with all this time. I bet if we asked any leader who has had a temptation crush their lives they would rather have heeded this warning, if your eye causes you to stumble gouge it out, than have lost everything due to the one eye weighing them off that wall.
Come on guys, we all have it, that little temptation that’s nothing major at all, but if we allow it to grow, if we allow it to go unchecked, it has the potential to knock us entirely off our walk with the Lord.
What’s mine, I love my creature comforts, I love sleeping, indulge myself with good food and a lot of extra lazy time. There’s a lot I should be doing but I put it off, I pretend it’s not important and not a job for right now. Is this a major sin, probably not for anyone else, but for me, this started to take away from quality and ability of life for myself and my family. I lived behind, I don’t know how to do this and believed it until I prayed and asked the Lord to help me overcome this and He has given me practical ideas and tips of what to do. This is one of the reasons we have lived in a crowded, chaotic and hoarder type house until now. Fortunately, by the grace of God, He has been spurring me on in this department and I have been working on it. Still needs a lot of work!!
How did I find my blindspot, after all, it’s a blindspot?
Ask the Lord. Be honest with yourself and the Lord. Pray, ask God to show you where you have any places of temptation that you may even be blind to. He has so much for you and living with a blindspot will keep you going round your mountain. Ask, He is faithful to show you gently as you are able to deal with them, one by one, releasing you into freedom!! Where we all want to be!
I had to be honest. Say Lord I don’t like to be told I am lazy, I am not living up to my role as a good mother, keeping a clean, organised house. My house wasn’t dirty, but, definitely not what it could be as far as organised and the sanctuary you want for your family. I had to be honest and ask people, how do I accomplish minor tasks that everyone else does everyday. I had to admit, I don’t know how to do this, I don’t have the skills to run a home. But the minute I became transparent and asked the Lord to show me my blindspot, which was my laziness, things started to change, because I never believed I was lazy and always thought I was hardworking. When I admitted that, I could start dealing with the rest.
Getting help was partly accountability, partly learning the skills. The minute I started asking key people in my life to help me, come in and show me what and how to do the minor things most people learn while they are children, it all started to turn around. Do I live in a neat and uncluttered organised home, not quite yet, but definitely on our way to much more stability than we’ve ever had before! By the grace of God! Slowly, day by day, small daily disciplines to keep routine, order and life is looking more stable.
Prayer is the final, continual step. Praying that the Lord would help me. Keep me accountable, honest with myself. Praying that the Lord would sear off all connection I had with that selfish, lazy, old nature in order for me to live free! Almost checking off daily, how did I do today? Asking the Lord to help me for this day, thanking Him and asking Him to help me for the next day or week or month. I need to ask daily, I probably fall off my wall daily, it’s nicer to read or write than cook and clean, but prayer… but God… now I know, it’s nicer to read or write in a clean, ordered home with God leading me on to His grace!
Trust this helps you, I have been working on it for sometime now and I, as always and all of us, am a work in progress. By the grace of God I am alive, by the grace of God I grow daily.
Extra verses Matthew 6:22-23
Let me know if this has helped you, no really, get in touch, love to hear if we are connecting on the same level?