Mayhem and Chaos
Mayhem and chaos reigned in my heart and mind until I could take it no longer, I needed a solution. I craved purpose from my mayhem.
I decided that I have tried literally everything to have a fun-filled enjoyable life. None of it worked, I remained hurting and lost.
Nothing could truly fill the chasm I had in my heart. I was broken on the inside and everything hurt. Running from the pain was all I could do to keep myself from dealing with it. Like the prodigal son, I would do all I could to have fun, there was no limit. I eventually found myself at the end of my road . Every bridge I had known was burnt. Following every avenue I had lived every option out. I was trying to find if there was a life better than the Christian life my parents had taught me. Thoughts of there must be some kind of happiness in the world went through my mind and went looking for it everywhere!
Surprised, I arrived back home with my parents. I found all the peace, love and tranquility I had really wanted was what the people in their church had.
Purpose from my Mayhem
My parents are not perfect, none of us are. But they led the way for me to find Jesus Christ for myself. It wasn’t at that time. It still took me many years to really choose Him and go to church. That was the beginning of my desire to find Him.
I had grown up in church with parents who loved the Lord and showed me His ways the best they could.
The Change Came
My life changed entirely the day I decided to take the bible seriously and allow Jesus Christ to be the Lord and Saviour of my life.
Even then I didn’t believe in making deals with the Lord, I thought it dangerous at best. That being said, I had seen a sign for a church on the way to work everyday, and as I later told the pastor that sign called my name for many months, until late one Saturday night I said: ‘Lord, if you want me to go to that church in the morning then you wake me up in time to get ready.’
True as bob the next morning at 06:30 I couldn’t sleep anymore, there I lay thinking, is it me or did You wake me up to go? I got up, went and had a ball, I never looked back. Those people took me in as if I was one of their own. They knew I was broken. Definitely I knew I was in no great shape, but man they helped me walk that walk! I am so thankful to God everyday for the way He lead me to their building and closer to Him. I had some Holy Spirit encounters there with Him that I’ve never had again, but I am trusting for more, always, everyday trusting for more of Him and His ever-lasting peace that surpasses all understanding.
If you want that relationship with God that brings you peace with Him, peace, yourself the things you’ve done and the people around you no matter how impossible it seems. I have had to forgive my parents and many relatives, I have had to ask for much forgiveness. In my brokenness I have hurt many people, but with God all things are possible. Back to my point, if you would like peace to reign in your life, please read this prayer, (finished reading it already?) don’t leave it there. Go to a local church or trusted friend. Tell them of your commitment to have a relationship with Jesus Christ and ask for a bible to read on your own. Read it daily, pray daily for a closer relationship with Him, He will lead you and guide you, trust Him. You will find, as did I, Purpose from my Mayham came when I allowed Him, the Lord Jesus Christ to be the master of my life, sounds hard, it’s so simple.